I always was (and still am) a fan of Santa Claus. I love to collect 'old world Santas'. You know the ones! They have the long ropes and really cool looking staff? I also love the stories that involve Santa. In almost ever childhood in America, you can remember ONE GOOD Santa story. Weather it was someone dressed up as Santa or just one good gift that you got from him. However, some parents struggle with weather or not the allow the child to believe in Santa. I know my husband was very leary about the whole thing. His concern was with deception. "They are going to be pissed when they find out they have been LIED to thier whole life.". I have heard of some cases where this is true.. but let me digress a bit. How was Santa persented?
Presentation One: Santa- the all knowing enforcer of behavior
As a portrait studio photographer, I see this all to often. Any other time of year, there is bribes involved with taking photos. Things like: "Smile, and we will go to the park" , "Take nice pictures or we are NOT going to the pool later.", "If you want candy, you'll take the picture!". This time of year... from November through to Christmas, I here the same thing.. only this time its "Take a Picture, or Santa will not bring you anything for Christmas." Now, I find that this form of Santa is the "behavior enforcer". This is the Santa that parents pull when kids are misbehaving. The threat of "If you keep this up, you are gonna get coal in your stocking" might get them to fly right for a short distance, but soon you will find yourself making the threat again and again. And lets face it, will you REALLY not get them any gifts? You might get them less, or not get them certain things (like if you know they are not well behaved enough to handle play dough, you don't CARE if they are 2 years older then the box says). It reality, you will never.... EVER.. Make good on that threat.
This is where, I think, the anger and the frustration comes in. You have told this kid for HOW many years that if they don't be good, Santa was gonna be a jerk and not give your presents....... and it was really the one TELLING YOU these things that was withholding the goodies? What? Really? I think I would be pissed too. With that light, they most likely not have a good view of Santa anyway... now their screw is redirected to from a figment figure they cant see..... to YOU!
Santa: The Spirit Of Giving
Which brings me to my second presentation. The "spirit of giving" Santa. I think this is the BEST WAY to present Santa. Not a spiteful goblin that rewards the good and punishes the wicked.. but more of a good will patron saint that bestows blessings of joy, love, and good cheer. This is how I remember Santa! Even after I found out about Santa by a TEACHER of all things (yeah, one of the worst ways to go), I didn't really resent my parents.. I was just sad about it. My mother put it in perspective and told me it was more of a spirit of giving. putting mommy or daddy or someone else on the package gives them 'credit' for giving it to you... were Santa gave it to you, it is with no thanks needed but out of the goodness of your heart... just like an anonymous donation to a charity. Same thing. It made a lot more sense to me when presented that way then the other.
This is the way I chose to present it to my Mouse. Later, when tot-zilla is older, I will do the same with her. That way, they dont have that devistating 'death of santa' moment. They never have that 'you betrayed me' moment. I havent lied to them.. Santa brigns them thier toys. The spirit of giving, charity, and love is alive and well in our home. As they grow older and dont believe that the 'spirit of giving' is personified as a jolly ol' elf in a red suit.. they will still know the joy of giving to others. They will pass on that spirit of giving to thier children.... and they will become 'Santa' for their children....
Here's hopping...
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